Wednesday, February 20, 2008

These made my mouth smile

someone took actual quotes from Roger Clemens testimony in front of congress and made them into poems.

Roger Clemens. Click image to expand.

"Offensive Haiku"

I am offended.
I will be honest with you.
I am offended.

"Glute"

I have strained my glute
On a couple occasions.
I wish I could tell you
How many occasions.

Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Headaches"

Kids come to my house and work out.
I invite them to come work out.
The littler kids,
I try to get them to sign a waiver
In case a bat comes out of my hand, or a ball.
We've experienced that.
That's headaches.

Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

"Stop Sign"

In Boston, I know I was on prednisone.
I remember that because actually
I came here to visit the White House
When the president was in,
And my head looked like a stop sign.

Feb. 5, 2008, deposition






2 comments:

Jim said...

I've met Ben Feldman.
At a stop sign.
I was offended.
So was my glute.

Ben Feldman said...

JIM!!!!!!