Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Long Goodbye

Is an awesome movie.

Elliot Gould is the shit.

The current governor of California has a non-speaking shirtless cameo.

Everybody wins.

I just realized

that this has been the postingest month in the history of my blog. I'd like to thank everyone who made this month possible.

Annie, Danny's dreadlocks, the people of Germany (god bless 'em), Zack Morris, non-newtonian fluid, and caffeine pills.

This is for all of you!



Sometimes I think I'm too much of an elitist, that maybe I'm wrong to make such dramatic negative assumptions about the 150 million or so Americans living in red states...and then I see a headline like this, and I'm shaken out of my weak-ass relativist reverie

Utah Officials tell citizens: Stop shooting your old televisions


Only in the middle of the United States and the South do people need to have it explicitly stated to them NOT to take guns, and with those guns, shoot holes in televisions.

No where else, has the SHOOTING OF TELEVISIONS WITH ACTUAL FUCKING GUNS become so endemic that the government feels a need to put a stop to it.

This is madness.

this is super duper funny

Craig Robinson. would tear. that ass. up.

12 fucking people

have tried to kill themselves in the past 3 days due to the death of Michael Jackson.

Monday, June 29, 2009


Between 1450 and 1550, over 100,000 witches were burned in what is now Germany.


charming people.

Wiley got me looking through my facebook photos

I picked some out.



this was form Vermont, we had just run across the street naked, but Adam's ears were cold, so he kept his hat on. Remember?

This next one is of Annie, at Sterling's parents house, it's the first thing she ever said when I met her!


Boy, sometimes I forget how different Julie used to look when we were at Kenyon, here's a picture of her and Sterling when he came to visit.


It's also easy to forget how wild Danny looked in high school. I took this photo of him on our road trip, outside le biodome in Montreal.

Here's one of matt Biedlingmaier, before he told us he was gay

I think that was outside of a fade show at Piezannos

I don't really have any old pictures of Billy, so I just used one from this year


This picture of Wiley is from way back, like 2003 or 2004

Here's one of Chris parking on my street in Annapolis


Katie Powers (Olivia Alaina May) is about to graduate high school. Jealous of her school rivals, Katie vows to lose her virginity to the boy she believes to be her soulmate before her graduation.

The boy, Ryan Lambert (Dustin Harnish), refuses to sleep with Katie due to a previous incident when he slept with another virgin, leaving Katie crestfallen. With the help of her friend Rose (Lauren Walsh), Katie begins a series of schemes to flirt with various boys and to try and entice them to bed, failing at each opportunity to achieve her goal.

Danny, how is it possible that you've never seen this movie?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

I totally forgot about this song

but I've only been listening to Michael jackson for the past few days, and this is the loveliest song ever

Just in case that wasn't enough

Kitty in a wine glass!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I've had a couple

of long serious posts today.



You can't believe in anything: A sort of review of Social Darwinism in American Thought


why I'm not a socialist even though I'm a socialist.
So I'm reading this book by Richard Hofstadter, Social Darwinism in American Thought. People often unfairly blame Darwin and his promotion of the Theory of Evolution for the dissemination of the ideas of social darwinism, perhaps best understood through this chilling excerpt from Herbert Spencer, "If [people] are sufficiently complete to live, they do live, and it is well they should live. If they are not sufficiently complete to live, they die, and it is best they should die".

Social Darwinism as a 'scientific' theory does not come from Charles Darwin, Spencer was expounding his positions 7 years before the publication of The Origin of Species. Charles Darwin merely provided Sepncer's followers a means of couching their dogma in pseudo-scientific terminology.

Spencer and his people were sort of the bastard children of the Enlightenment, secular dogmatists no better than the religious who believed that science could perfectly explain all human progression and action, and given this explanation, could be used to perfect it.

The problem, (one of the problems at least) as I see it, is that when people, religious or secular believe absolutely in a system of thought, of faith, of anything they expend their intellectual energy incorporating new information into their systems of belief. This energy should, instead, by spent modifying their systems of understanding to better fit with new information.

Dogmas like eugenics, racism, ethno-centrism, etc, become far more pernicious when their proponants are able to explain them through otherwise sound scientific theory.

To restate/ rephrase, I think you should never try to change new information to fit the way you see the world, you should always seek to change the way you see the world to fit new information.

This requires skepticism on all things unless truly proven to be true, and even then, we should be prepared to reevaluate.

my favorite Jackson 5 song

so we all know

that Thriller is the best selling album in the history of the world.

Does anyone know (without looking it up), what the second best selling album in the history of the world is?

Cause it blew my fucking mind.


Book Review: William James Varieties of Religous Experience

1196-william-james.jpg image by thehousenextdoor

Modern Library said that this was the second best non-fiction work of the twentieth century, after Henry Adams, "The Education of Henry Adams"...neither of those things are true.

Admittedly I didn't read this whole thing, I got sort of frustrated. So maybe I'm leaping to conclusions, but...

I guess I'm a a little confused at what William James is suggesting. If I understand correctly he is attempting to rebut intellectual atheism of the Bertrand Russel (and Ben Feldman!) sort. He suggests that it IS acceptable to believe without evidence if that belief creates positive spiritual or emotional experience, a sort of anti-rational, religious utilitarianism.

There seem to me, a couple of obvious problems with this.

Firstly, he does not make proper allowance for the possibility [reality] that the notion that belief without evidence is harmless when it brings an individual joy tends to fall apart with the realization that, far too often, this individual joy necessitates robbing someone else of their individual joy, negating a pretension toward a utilitarian defense of religious belief.

Second, He suggests that while belief without evidence is acceptable, belief IN THE FACE OF EVIDENCE is unacceptable. So this means, for example, that while it may still be ok for James's Christian to belief in God, it is no longer acceptable for James's Christian to believe in an earth that is only six thousand years old.

History suggests that the progression of scientific knowledge inexorably erodes the possible veracity of revelation. So In essence, James's religious philosophy is suggesting that we believe in whatever makes us happy until, inevitably it is no longer intellectually tenable; this seems immediately...naive at best...self-deluding and dishonest at worst.

To me, james's philosphy could be seen to have value only to an individual, born without knowledge of human history and progress, living in complete isolation, devoid of curiosity. Scintillating.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The just announced

the preliminary lineup for the FREE bluegrass festival in golden gate park.

Who's playing?

Booker T!
Lyle Lovett!
John Prine!
The Chieftens!
Little Feat
Billy Bragg!
Doc Watson!
Gillian Welch

and a bunch of other people

if you don't live here, I suggest you come to San Francisco this weekend for non-stop music related fun

Thursday, June 25, 2009

All Nate Silver All the Time

This rad chart gives more information than I ever knew I needed about politicians wieners

3 day fun time post

Adam came to visit us 3 days ago.

The first day, he and Brian and Danny played a concert.


they still got it.

Unfortunately, a million year old woman with no teeth made me the worst burrito ever, and I spent most of my evening spraying vomit into the toilet. Luckily, the acoustics in that urine soaked stall were phenomenal and the show sounded great!

Danny gave us all a special treat by playing the muppet babies themesong. Also, I am a little surprise that google doesn't recognize that muppet is a legitimate word.

The next day was perfect.

Adam, Danny, Julie, Billy, post-birthday Morgan, Taylor and I spent hours int the park. We were absolutely in the DVZ. I have never seen so many adorable dogs. They turned the little park into a big giant field of shit though and someone (adam) got poop on his pants. When I told Wiley he said, "ew! gross! send me a pic!".

We spent the afternoon writing classic jokes, mainly incorporating Moo into words that may SOUND like Moo, but aren't really moo. (e.g. why was the cow sent to jail? He committed MOOOOrder [when I asked Wiley why the cow went to prison, he posited that it was for 'raping a woman to death']).


...Then we had a surprise party for Morgan I took a great picture of her being surprised.


We played a girls vs boys heated game of charades; a game which, due to rampant cheating, we lost.

Today Julie Adam and Danny and I saw Moon

and went to the beach to watch the sun go down.

Then Michael Jackson died.

Monday, June 22, 2009

more on Iran

by way of Nate Silver

"Iran's Guardian Council has admitted that the number of votes collected in 50 cities surpass the number of those eligible to cast ballot in those areas"

I love Cracked

they told me about this. It's called aerogel. It's 99 percent gas and 1 percent silicone. Look at it!

and non-newtonian fluid. Liquid that you can run on!

San Francisco changes you







Sunday, June 21, 2009

I can't take credit for this

but Eric Clapton and Desmond do look a lot alike.


It's a pity

there isn't a hell for these pieces of shit to go to


an Iranian sent this to Christopher Hitchens:

I went to the last major Ahmadinejad rally and got the whiff of what I imagine fascism to have been all about. Lots of splotchy boys who can't get a date are given guns and told they're special.

Things I learned this week

1. Leeches are good for you.


apparently leeches have spit that is full of anti-biotics and anti-coagulants. They stop blood from clotting and people with heart disease or clogged arteries would do well to be regularly bled by leeches.

2.I learned where the term "hooker" comes from.

General Joseph Hooker

on leave during the Civil War, frequented Washington brothels with his inner circle so much that prostitutes in D.C. were called Hooker's girls, then Hooker's and finally, Hookers.

3. Russel Simmons saved the life of the guy from 3rd bass.

This seems too fucking crazy, but I spent a lot of time reading about it and everyone seems to say that it's true.

the story is as follows: MC Hammer was offended by a diss on 3rd bass's album about his mother (the diss, not the album). He, naturally, decided to have them killed. He contacted the bloods to take care of it. Russel Simmons found out, and contacted someone connected with the hitman and asked him what had to happen for it to all go away. The hitman wanted what any thugged out murderer for hire would want, to go to the fucking grammys and to sit next to Michael Jackson. Russel Simmons made it happen, and we are all in his debt, otherwise we would not have had the distinct pleasure of listening to 3rd bass all these many years.

4. Most "pygmies" are just malnourished


This does not apply to all pygmy tribes. There are collections of little people in various parts of the world that have long been thought to be somehow genetically smaller than everyone else. In the 1990's, several children of these darling little people were adopted and grew up in LA where they were monitered by scientists


The [formerly] little people grew to normal heights. It was determined that the reason these communities were so short was a lack of iodine in the soil.

That's it.

That's what I learned.

I already

told this to Danny and Wiley, but I just got so upset about this dream I had about Adam and Danny.

I will present it to you here, exactly as I remember it, with visual aids, in dialogue form.


Ben: I can't believe Adam will be here in 2 days
Danny: dude...he is going to fuck so many chicks when he's up here
B: [shocked] how!?! who!? How does Adam already know girls in SF
D: [sarcastically] um, you don't know what adam does?
D:Whenever he goes to a new city, he sends pictures of himself to all the cool bars so that girls see him before he gets there, and know that he's a rad dude
B: well what the fuck! why didn't anyone tell me? I could have been doing that this whole time!
D: [witheringly] uh...yeah dude, maybe you could've done that shit a couple years ago, you're a little too old now

Here's me angry at Danny:

http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0702-0111-4744_Businessman_Yelling_Across_a_Room_clipart_image.jpghippie1.gif image by pjcomix

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Better than last weeks comment

Cracked On Carlos Mencia

This is no joke

These are 25 actual Twitters from Carlos Mencia, complete with commentary.

You're not allowed to call yourself a comedian if you're just a racist.



Paul Begala

VS Meghan McCain on Real Time


She was whining about people blaming the Bush administration. He mentioned that all Reagen talked about in 1980-81 was the mess that Jimmy Carter had left.

Meghan McCain: Well, I wasn't alive then, so I wouldn't know about that
Paul Begala: I wasn't alive during the French Revolution, but I can talk about it!

M M: (awkwardly)...well apparently you just know everything

She then started talking about how she loves her curves and how the country needs to move forward and I blacked out.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Hey Adam

When you said you had a new tv show for me to get into, you never told me it starred one of my roomates!


this is much better than that R Kelly song

new r kelly song

After his death

Billy has promised to give his testicles to science


David Cross


Is coming out with this book in August. He also spoke for the first time about why he hates Jim Belushi, and its pretty gnarly. David Cross met a woman with a really sick kid who wanted a Jim Belushi autograph (....). Jim Belushi refused to sign.

Because he is a such a goddamn important celebrity.